lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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