he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
FUCK WHALES
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
