I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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