i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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