im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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