i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
