Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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