I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
