You made me cry and you don't even care
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
