there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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