But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
