I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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