I need help removing her.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
