my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
