Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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