dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
