i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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