I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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