4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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