Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
