i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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