I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
