you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
