he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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