we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
