Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
