Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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