My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
