K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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