My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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