He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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