My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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