I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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