the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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