Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
