i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize