Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Please don't give away my fajitas
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
