it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think a kid would responsible me up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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