As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
