I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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