am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
