Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
