Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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