Are we in a gay sports bar?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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