Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
