I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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