yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he thought i was a dude.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
