Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
