I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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