At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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