So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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