I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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