Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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