I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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