I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
