I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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