I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
