drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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