So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Farmville is her only friend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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